Life with Robins and Laurels
by CherryBlossomGirl57
Summary: Katniss and Peeta look back on their lives. They moved on. They fell in love. They had kids. Now it's time to tell them what really happened. But nothing is as it seems and a new danger could threaten the happy family. Told in flashbacks.
1. The survivors

**Authors Note: It's been a long while since I have wrote on Fanfiction (it was with another pen name in case you were wondering). But I've found myself to be exponentially better than I used to and I hope that means more reviews (wink wink). This is also the first time I've written a fic on the wonderfully addictive Hunger Games, and I can be highly unobservant so if there are any inaccuracies with this piece compared to the books, I would appreciate it if you pointed them out to me for future reference. Any other critiques would be lovely because I am in a creative writing class and any suggestions or comments are what keep me a goin'. **

When the screams started I instinctively assumed they were mine, but after fully awakening I realized the true source. I flung the covers off of me and quickly leaped onto the floor. Peeta's protecting arms groped the now empty space beside him but they only met wrinkled, warm bedding. I bounded out of the room and careened down the dark hall. Laurel's child screams bathed the area in empathetic shrills. Like the last call of some beautiful dying creature. I tripped every step to the doorway where I stopped. Her thin young body flailing around under her sheets made me halt. Just like Prim. Just like Prim in her nightmares. It took me a moment to regain myself as it always does when the waves of painful nostalgia hit me. As soon as they pass I tumble through the door and appear on the edge of her bed. Gently nudging her into consciousness. Her eyelids lift and reveal the frightened blue beneath. The same gorgeous color as her father's. Once they comprehend me the fear subsides to relief. Our arms wrap around each other's in embrace.

"Shhh it was a nightmare, you're with me now." I whisper in an attempt to coax her. We sit in silence until the tears become less abundant and then I sing.

"_Dear little dogwood _

_Why do you cry?_

_Howling at the moonflowers_

_La-ate at night?_

_Why are you weeping?_

_Oh gentle willow?_

_Did a dragonfly away with your love bug?_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_The sun might shine_

_The clouds might rain_

_And the butterflies die_

_But tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Tomorrow you see_

_My lovely laurel will still be with me_

_My lovely Laurel_

_My lovely Laurel_

_The meadow's charm and an angel's smile_

_My lovely Laurel_

_My lovely Laurel_

_Laurel my flower will always love me_

_My lovely Laurel _

_My lovely Laurel_

_And happy together we shall be"_

She smiled at the familiar lullaby. I brushed her damp hair back from her face, a mixture of tears and sweat. The thin strands were soft under my touch, so much the same as Prim's. The two of them would have gotten along very well had circumstances been in our fortune. Now all that Laurel has of her aunt is a memory book. She would never know the similarities the two shared. Laurel was smart like Prim, she was wiser than anyone I knew. But Laurel was fearless. She was the kind of strong I pretended to have during the games and the war. Laurel never needed or wanted to be fake though, she was always very real about everything. She was truthful and sometimes to a fault. My little girl noticed the pain in my expression and repeated my earlier action, brushing the long dark hair behind my ear.

"Mommy what are you thinking?" What am I thinking? I'm thinking about hope. I am thinking about freedom and peace and love and happiness. I'm thinking about laurels and robins. I am thinking about the day when some of the things I thought I had lost forever came back to me.

It was four months after returning to district 12. Peeta and I had pretty much finished our memory book and had nothing to do with our time anymore. Well actually I had nothing to do with my time anymore. Peeta had bread to bake and pictures to paint but I was left with nothing. Hunting was just too painful; it reminded me of Gale and how he betrayed me. Plurtarch had set up that singing program on TV but the truth is I hated it. I recorded the first three episodes and then quit. Primping with my prep team, scheduling with Effie, and being forced to read Fulvia's poorly written scripts so I "become more appealing to the general audience" reminded me too much of the propos. Peeta and my mother, and Haymitch for that matter, insisted repeatedly that I do _something_ with my time because they knew that if I didn't I might go psycho again. Not that that isn't a likely assumption. So for weeks afterward I decided I would try writing songs. I carried a thick journal with me and a pencil, and I walked. I walked downtown and I stumbled into yards with sparse sprouts of grass. I walked around the meadow. I walked so much my feet would blister. Then at the end of the day I would sit by the lake and write songs. I would write about everything I had seen. Not just with my eyes but beyond that. I saw a world that had changed and broken things fixing themselves. I saw grass growing where ashes once were. Peeta started following me when he had time. Walking beside me and holding my hand. We shared a silence that was very...prominent. We were thinking the same things, feeling the same things, remembering the same things. Occasionally his hand would flinch when he saw the place where the bakery once stood. I would just squeeze it back and we would move on. When I got to the writing part Peeta would lie on the grass beside me and play with some wild flowers, turning them over carefully in his hands to observe the color and shape for future paintings. Once in a while he would glance up at me as my hand quickly glided over the paper to form the words in my mind. I knew he probably saw the same things I saw when I watched him paint, the thoughtful expression of something beautiful being created. Teasingly he would try to read what I was writing over my shoulder, knowing how much I hated that. I would shoo him away and insist he was distracting me. One day in the spring Peeta didn't stay with me as I wrote and instead wandered off to draw some scenery. To be specific I believe it was a robin's nest in a low hanging tree branch. Below was a multitude of mountain laurels, freshly blooming. I decided to surprise him and write about the same scene. But somehow I couldn't find the right words this time. Peeta damn you…your absence is an even worse distraction. I tried taking a break and took a swim in the lake, feeling the katniss beneath my toes. The water was relaxing and worked wonders on my stress. I stepped out, dried myself off and went back to work. Even after clearing my head, not a single word would surface. I had just given up when I heard a deafening snap behind me. My bow was beside me so no worries of danger came to mind. It might be a wild animal. But a wild animal is smarter than to be that loud. It was probably Peeta sneaking up on me with that awkward gate he has. A theory came to me. I could scare him in a counter attack if I trained a bow on him just as he was about to pounce, and then shoot so to barely miss him. Yes Katniss, that is a smart idea, teach that boy a lesson. Five. Four. Three. Two. I spun around with the weapon poised and shot just above the intruder's head. Or heads. Instead of finding Peeta before me I saw three other familiar faces. I closed my eyes and opened them again trying to register what had happened. Just as before, I saw the three people. The first was Leevy a girl from twelve. She was my old neighbor who was so kind to help me when Gale was whipped. Her black hair was tied back neatly in a bow and a scar stretched across her cheek. I had never known Leevy that well but I felt a pang of joy at the sight of her. The second was an even bigger shock to me. It was Mr. Byron Melark, the baker, and Peeta's father. Some of his hair was singed on the side and he had lost a lot of weight at one point, but he had regained his health once again. Peeta's father? He died…he was in the bakery when the bombs dropped. What is going on? Yet neither of these two long forgotten citizens of twelve could be as impacting on me as the last. There she was, possibly my best friend. She was the most like her old self. She appeared the same as ever except for her lack of rich clothing. Madge. It didn't take a seconds thought before I was embracing the three figures, ignoring the idea somewhere inside of me suggesting they were hallucinations. But as I held each one I could feel their skin as clearly as my own. They were real. They were with me. I didn't notice that tears were streaming down my face until Madge brushed them away with her hand. Yet I could tell by her eyes that she was near tears as well.

"How?" I choked out to them. Leevy was the first to speak. She looked faraway and wispy, as though she could blow away in the wind at any given moment.

"Madge and I found each other during the attack on 12 and we tried to escape with Gale but we lost him when a bomb went off. We ran in the direction he went and stumbled upon lying in the rubble. We dragged him with us and made it into the meadow, but didn't have a clue where we were going…" she stared off into the distance as if forgetting where she was and then Madge intervened.

"We ended up at 11 and saw the rebellion going on. We joined in for a while but then bombs started dropping and Byron…" she stopped and I noticed why. looked rather distraught at the memories being resurfaced. Most likely the bombs gave him traumatic damage. It was heartbreaking to see these people I once knew in such a tortured state, but I had to know more. I had to know how they came to be before I truly believed they were actually here.

"Please Madge, tell me what happened." I begged. Byron retreated to the water and began to skip stones across it.

"So we kept going until we ended up at 10. We staid underground for a while incase another rebellion broke out. It did and some peacekeepers found us…"

She stopped as if not knowing how to word it. Leevy lifted her pant leg to reveal a piece of wood where a leg should have been. Too bad the districts don't have any metal mechanisms like Peeta has. The part of her leg that did exist looked grotesque and almost putrid. It was cut up like the apple sized scar on my arm from the Quarter Quell, where Johanna dug out my tracker. There was something else wrong with Leevy, she was very scattered brained. She used to be so cool in demeanor but I guess the blow of the rebellion hit hard for even her. I sympathized for the girl I once was acquainted with. She is in a world between Annie's insanity, Peeta's loss of reality, and my brokenness. That seems like a terribly lonely world. But that didn't matter as much now. They are alive, and that astonishes me.

"They had mutts with them." Madge sighed. I remembered the lizard creatures stalking us down through the capitol streets. The rose scented mutations. They killed Finnick… They left Annie, pregnant lost Annie, without anyone to love her, to understand her. Were these the same creatures that took Leevy's leg or was it some other destructive demon created by the capitol? Madge saw the contempt in my eyes as well as the hurt and changed the subject back to their escape from the peacekeepers and their journey to the woods.

"When we got to the woods I gave Leevy one of my mother's painkillers which I had taken with me and bandaged her up as best I could. I tried to remember what your mother used to do but I still did a terrible job. I wish she was there." I smiled. My mother's magic really did make an impact on people. I would have to tell her that next time I called her. "We didn't know when the rebellion would end or if we would win, and we were all…injured."

By the way she said it, it was apparent she didn't just mean physically. I can relate. We all can.

"So we remained in the forest for a long time. I remembered what you told me about hunting and I set up some snares. Byron made a shelter and a leg for Leevy. We lived there. It wasn't until some kids, wandering away from ten, found our camp that we were told the rebellion ended. We went to a hospital in the district and had Leevy's leg looked at. They did the best they could and gave her a new wood leg but they couldn't do much. They are going to send in some medical supplies for her in the next few days. Anyway, we took a train and arrived at here earlier this morning."

Madge explained. I was rather proud that she actually listened to my ramblings about hunting. I always thought she felt uncomfortable about the topic since it was technically illegal and her father was the mayor. It even distracted me from the agitation I felt when hearing they _avoided_ the rebellion. While I was fighting and making propos, they were hiding. But I wanted to run away to the forest with Gale when the rebellion was right in our future. I remembered the days when I let myself slip into depression, when I actually felt the pain that was growing inside me. Those days I fled to supply closets and refused to talk to anyone. The only reason I didn't follow a plan like Madge's was because I was the Mockingjay. I can't hold anything against them, not really. Madge continued the ending of her story but this time she was quiet and emotional.

"My house…my parents…I didn't expect to find much and I was right. I knew you were here though. As soon as the people from ten heard we were from twelve they assumed we knew you, Peeta, and Gale and went on long tangents about your influence in the revolution. I had to find you. Leevy didn't have anyone either so we went together to your house in victor's village, but you weren't home. Greasy Sae said you were walking around town with Peeta so we recruited and went looking for the two of you. I supposed the meadow was where you were since I couldn't find you anywhere else and here you are."

After all was said I smiled. I was touched they went through so much to find me. These people meant a great deal to me, even though at one time I took them for granted. I bet they never took me for granted. Suddenly I felt foolish and selfish, and other words that Johanna might utter when she went through morphling withdrawal. But more than anything I was relieved they made it. Suddenly I was hugging them all over again. It was at that moment that Peeta had decided to walk into the clearing.

"Hey Katniss, you have to see this picture. I think you will really like it. Something about the color of the Laurel's …"

He stopped mid-sentence at the sight of the people around me.

It took him a moment to decide whether they were real or not but I could tell it was taxing on him. "_Real or not real?" _I could almost hear him ask.

"Real" I answered his silent question.

He nods slowly then runs to his father so fast I think he might knock him over with impact when they hug. Tears come streaming down his face like me when I hugged Madge. The two held each other for a long time. For just a moment looked like his old self. He was going to be okay now, because now he had someone to take care of again. He had a reason, a purpose again. I grinned. I grinned because Peeta also had another piece of himself back. A piece that Snow thought he had destroyed. Before the stories were told a second time and introductions were made for Peeta, Madge, and Leevy, we ushered the survivors out of the meadow and into Peeta's house. I served some of Peeta's cinnamon bread and fresh tea as the other's settled in the family room, and began their long conversation. Even after hearing it a second time it was still remarkable to me that these people made it. It must have been for Peeta to because as I watched his eyes when the stories were told, they would light up with wonder at certain points and in others become gravely thoughtful. At the end we changed the subject and held a normal conversation. It didn't involve death, survival, or rebellion. It was just a normal conversation with old friends. Peeta joked and the group chuckled just like old times, the kind of familiar old times that you like remembering. After the bread was eaten and then seconds of the bread was eaten, the brigade went on a trip upstairs to see Peeta's studio. Oohs and awes filled the room immediately when we stepped in. Each painting was a masterpiece to them. As I looked around at oil painted cornucopias and weapons and swirled images of something unnamable, I only saw puzzle pieces. The little fragments that made up Peeta's thoughts. Some were frightening, so much that I had to turn away. But others, newer ones, made me smile. Pictures of Prim with lady, a bigger version of the one in our memory book. One of me shooing Buttercup away from a plate of cooling bread, it was so realistic that I could hear Buttercup hissing and smell the dill wafting in the rising steam. Then was one of me and Peeta, I was writing and he was lying on the ground looking up at me with lilac in his hand. I stared at it admiringly even after the guests had withdrawn back down to the living room, no doubt for more of that delicious bread.

"I meant to give that to you tonight…" he said from behind me. His breath caught on my neck soothingly.

"It's beautiful" I tell him. I reach out tentatively and touch Peeta's painted cheek. A warm sensation fills me and I begin to panic at the stuffiness of it. I need out of the room but when I turn around Peeta is right there looking at the distress on my face. I expect him to make some romantic advance on me but he doesn't. He lifts up a cloth covered canvas and hands it to me.

"But I think you should have them both" he finished. I unwrapped the thick cloth to expose the drawing Peeta had created earlier in the meadow. But it wasn't what I expected. The whole picture was covered in a background of pale pink blooming laurel flowers. Amongst them I sit, petals resting in my hair and around my shoulders. I am singing, and a baby robin sits on a branch of the mountain laurels singing back to me. Its feathers are downy and grey instead of the orange tummied adults. It seems more innocent this way. Everything about the picture depicts innocence, even me. Is this how Peeta sees me? Beautiful, lovely, sweet? How can he when anything but that is true? I am a killer, I have always been a killer. If not with humans than with animals. How many times have I shot and cooked a robin? How many times have I ripped off the branches of mountain laurels to use them as snares?

"Only because you had to Katniss. You were protecting yourself and Prim, your mother, Rue, me, even Gale. You had to kill. That's the furthest thing from heartless. The mutts are heartless. They don't feel, they don't hurt, they don't even protect, they just kill because they were trained to. But to kill to protect? That is completely different. You killed because you felt, because you hurt, because you would rather die than not protect the ones you love. That isn't a picture about innocence Katniss. It's a picture of an Angel." Peeta says behind me. I didn't even know I was talking out loud, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that it's even warmer than before in here but instead of wanting away from it I want more of it. I want more of Peeta's words. I want them to fill me. To replace all of the ugly ones that occupy my mind. That is something Gale could never do, he could never convince me of anything, not even his love for me. Maybe Peeta can because he is good with words, or maybe he can because the same words are sitting around my head they are just dusty and buried, or never fully formed. But he is able to make them clear and make them mean the things I want them to mean. Now I know exactly what I want to say. Peeta found the words for me even though I already had them locked away somewhere.

"_Dear little dogwood _

_Why do you cry,_

_Howling at the moonflowers_

_La-ate at night?_

_Why are you weeping_

_Oh gentle willow?_

_Did a dragonfly away with your love bug?_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_The sun might shine_

_The clouds might rain_

_And the butterflies die_

_But tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Tomorrow you see_

_My lovely laurel will still be with me_

_My lovely Laurel_

_My lovely Laurel_

_The meadow's charm and an angel's smile_

_My lovely Laurel_

_My lovely Laurel_

_Laurel my flower will always love me_

_My lovely Laurel _

_My lovely Laurel_

_And happy together we shall be"_

"_Dear little dogwood _

_Why do you cry,_

_Howling at the moonflowers_

_La-ate at night?_

_Why are you weeping_

_Oh gentle willow?_

_Did a dragonfly away with your love bug?_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_The sun might shine_

_The clouds might rain_

_And the butterflies die_

_But tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Tomorrow you see_

_My baby robin will still sing with me_

_My baby robin_

_My baby robin_

_The meadow's song and angel's heaven_

_My baby robin_

_My baby robin_

_Robin my sweetheart will always love me_

_My baby robin_

_My baby robin_

_And here in the meadow we shall sing"_

I finish the joyful tune I didn't even know I created. Peeta was looking at me with amazement in his eyes but more than anything love. Then the heat of the room got so fierce that I felt like fire. The girl on fire. I did the only thing I could think of to extinguish it. I wrapped my arms around Peeta's neck, closed my eyes, and pressed my lips to his in a real, tender kiss. He responded instantly as if he was going to do it if I hadn't. I felt the emotions running through me so fast I couldn't keep up with them. Eagerness, Love, happiness, fear, reluctance, frustration, anger, fury, passion, love, happiness, and then freedom. True utter freedom. I knew it would stick with me forever as long as Peeta was with me forever. And really I would kill anything that would get in the way of that. If Peeta calls that an angelic action than fine, you can call me "Katniss Everdeen Peeta's angel". When I open my eyes I'm in a new place entirely. I'm in Laurel's bedroom and she is staring up at me like she had asked a question. I hear a noise behind me and turn to see Peeta leaning against the doorframe with admiration, sleepy little Robin tugging on his pajamas and rubbing his eyes.

"Mommy it's no fair you sing to Laurel and not me" Robin insisted with a pout. I can't help but laugh. Peeta picks him up and twirls him around until he lands with a plop on the mattress beside me.

"Please mommy" he begs and I finally give in.

"_Dear little dogwood _

_Why do you cry,_

_Howling at the moonflowers_

_La-ate at night?_

_Why are you weeping_

_Oh gentle willow?_

_Did a dragonfly away with your love bug?_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_The sun might shine_

_The clouds might rain_

_And the butterflies die_

_But tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Tomorrow you see_

_My lovely laurel will still be with me_

_My lovely Laurel_

_My lovely Laurel_

_The meadow's charm and an angel's smile_

_My lovely Laurel_

_My lovely Laurel_

_Laurel my flower will always love me_

_My lovely Laurel _

_My lovely Laurel_

_And happy together we shall be_

_Dear little dogwood _

_Why do you cry,_

_Howling at the moonflowers_

_La-ate at night?_

_Why are you weeping_

_Oh gentle willow?_

_Did a dragonfly away with your love bug?_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_The sun might shine_

_The clouds might rain_

_And the butterflies die_

_But tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Tomorrow you see_

_My baby robin will still sing with me_

_My baby robin_

_My baby robin_

_The meadow's song and angel's heaven_

_My baby robin_

_My baby robin_

_Robin my sweetheart will always love me_

_My baby robin_

_My baby robin_

_And here in the meadow we shall sing_

_Dear little dogwood _

_Why do you cry,_

_Howling at the moonflowers_

_La-ate at night?_

_Why are you weeping_

_Oh gentle willow?_

_Did a dragonfly away with your love bug?_

_Tomorrow, tomorrow_

_The sun might shine_

_The clouds might rain_

_And the butterflies die_

_But tomorrow, tomorrow_

_Tomorrow you see_

_The boy with the bread will still be with me_

_The boy with the bre-ead_

_The boy with the bre-ead_

_There in the meadow with an angel we-ed_

_The boy with the bre-ead_

_The boy with the bre-ead_

_The boy with the bread will always love me_

_The boy with the bre-ead_

_The boy with the bre-ead_

_And together in the meadow we'll always be free"_

Peeta kisses me and then we tuck in each child, praying that they will sleep well now. As we retreat back into our own bed Peeta turns to me quizzically.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks. I curl up beside him.

"About how glad I am that there are people out there worth living for. That all of the shit I went through is no longer for nothing"

"It was never for nothing, Katniss" he whispers.

"It would have been, if you weren't here" I say just before we fall into a hopefully peaceful sleep.

**TO BE CONTIOUED…**

**Please critique this! Even bad reviews are highly encouraged!**


	2. Finding a place

**Author's Note: Don't worry there is action coming up the chapter after next. The song featured in the chapter isn't written by me this time. I realized that it's hard writing songs from scratch! Anyway the one I used is 'tomorrow will be kinder' by the secret sisters from the Hunger Games soundtrack. As always, feedback is what keeps me a goin'. **

Monday morning. Something about Mondays is always refreshing. I wake up to find Peeta tracing his finger along my arm. It's so absentminded that I doubt he even realizes I am awake.

"Peeta?" I whisper with a smile.

"Hmm?" he hums back.

"Hi"

"Hi" he mumbles. I kiss the tip of his nose, and try to move just to have his arm block me. He refuses to allow my escape and pushes me back.

"Peeta!" I whine teasingly. He grins.

"Please stay here for just a little while angel?" he begs. I roll my eyes and get up just for him to push me down again. This time I look at him with a mock anger.

"Don't make me go all tribute on you!" I warn. His hands rise in defense.

"Yeah I wouldn't want you to try to save my life _again_!" he laughs. I slug him on the arm and try once again to get off the mattress. This time when his arm reaches out to trap me again I spin around and twist it back behind him in assault. He lets out a yelp.

"I give! I give!" he surrenders. I let go of his arm with a smug look of satisfaction. He rubs his now sore arm with a fake pout that I can't deny is irresistible.

"That wasn't fair! I was caught off guard!"

I gave his excuse a disbelieving look.

"When did you learn that one anyway? Tribute training?" he asks. I shake my head.

"Rebellion training" I reply, sliding my pajama shirt over my head. I went searching for the one I would wear the rest of the day through the drawers of our dresser.

"You rebel" I could feel Peeta's eyes follow me and that smirk pasted across his face. Once I'm dressed I look back to my husband expectantly.

"Get up" I motion with my arm. He blinks back with a yawn.

"Do I have to throw you off like with buttercup!" I threaten. He hisses in reply. I groan and throw a pillow at him.

"I'm up, I'm up. Wait for me while I get dressed, will you?" he pleads. I glare at him halfheartedly.

"Why didn't you get dressed while I was? We could have saved time in our precious morning hours!" I moan. He stood up and made his way toward me.

"I wanted to watch you" he mumbles before wrapping his arms around me from behind and placing a precarious kiss on my pulse point. I push him away before he can get me worked up but he only moves just long enough to get a better angle. His lips meet mine passionately and I falter to stay in control. I have an idea though. It's a little trick I call leading him on or, what is that the girls call it? , playing hard to get? I am always good at that. I kiss him harder, biting his lower lip until he lets out a soft hum. My left hand rests on his chest as my right lands on the back of his neck then tangles itself in his blonde waves. He licks my lip with eagerness and I open my mouth enough to let his tongue graze mine. Slowly I reach up to unbutton his shirt and expose his muscled skin. When I'm done I slide it down his strong arms until I hear it hit the floor. I kiss his lips, then his chin, then along his jawline. My hands travel downward until they reach the waist of his pajama pants, pulling down the elastic. He goes in to kiss my lips just as they fall. Our lips are so close they are barely touching and then I pull away. His eyes are still closed and his mouth opened slightly. It isn't until something hits his face that he opens them.

"There's your clothes, get dressed. Remember to help Robin brush his teeth. He always tries to decorate the counter with toothpaste. I think he thinks it's frosting or something…I don't know." I usher out the commands in one breath, muttering something about 'stupid Peeta genes' as I leave. I head to the kitchen and try to cool down a bit by opening a window.

"Damn Peeta…" I breathe. "I was supposed to heat him up not the other way around." I say to no one.

"You two are like a pair of rabbits in heat" I hear the voice by the back door and jump. Or maybe someone…

"Wh-hoaa! Do you ever knock?" I demand halfheartedly. Haymitch and I look at each other with humor.

"Why bother sweetheart? I've seen you two in every state imaginable." He chuckled.

"Not every state" I mutter broodingly. The man doesn't leave, but takes a seat at our table as if invited to have breakfast. I guess after so many years an invitation is no longer preliminary to his comings and goings in our home. I set to work making a pot of coffee and starting breakfast. By the time I was done making meals for the two of us Peeta had arrived.

"Oh ham and eggs with goat cheese!" I hear him swoon. Before I can tell him otherwise he has taken a seat beside Haymitch and began devouring _my _meal. I shake my head and begin making three more since Robin and Laurel would soon be down. The scent of cooked ham fills the room with the pleasantness only early mornings can carry.

"Laurel, Robin your breakfast is almost ready!" I call. Out of the corner of my eye I see Haymitch cringe. He gazes around for an escape but his food is only half eaten, and if there is anything Haymitch would never abandon it is booze and food. Instead he guzzles his coffee and prepares for impact.

"Uncle Haymitch!" the small monster called Robin bellows from the stairwell. If you have ever seen a wild animal chase after a bunny and make its fatal pounce, that is what I witnessed. Haymitch groans as Robin's weight comes at him with full force and a knee ends up hitting him in the groin.

"Uncle Haymitch your eyes aren't all fuzzy!" Robin announces. He points to Haymitch's eyes a little too closely and ends up poking him.

"Ouch! Control your kid Peeta!" the drunk demands. Peeta looks at him in amusement and shrugs.

"I've tried. Very good Robin! Very observant of you to notice Haymitch's sobriety!" Peeta praises his son, to which he grins with pride.

"I don't know what you are going to turn him into if you praise him for poking eyeballs!" Haymitch exasperates as he attempts to finish his breakfast with the child in his lap. Uncle Haymitch. That is something I never expected. It amazes me actually, how much Haymitch loves children.

"You know uncle Haymitch, your hair is thinner right here" Robin noticed. He stood unstably on Haymitch's thighs and pulled at the older man's long hair.

"Watch it you little-"

"Haymitch!"

"Darling sweet hearted child" he finishes. Carefully he picks Robin up and set him on the ground only for Laurel to come racing to his lap.

"That happens when men get old silly!" Laurel retorts smartly. Haymitch rolls his eyes and looks to me for assistance. I don't do anything. It is my turn to eat my meal and no drunkard former mentor of mine is going to stop me, even if my children are acting like (insert Johanna's vocabulary). I should remember that. I think Johanna may actually be the influence for this behavior. I'll have to question her later. The kids settle down and finally start eating. We discuss our schedule for the day. Peeta is going to sell some of his paintings to a new art gallery opening up in the Capitol, Robin and Laurel are attending school, and Haymitch is going to…do whatever it is Haymitch does. As for me, I have our music performance tonight.

"Katniss I'm sorry I have to miss your show tonight" Peeta apologizes. His hand finds mine under the table to assure me.

"No worries Peeta. It's because of you we are even able to do it."

…

It was a few weeks after Peeta and I were officially dating. Leevy and Madge were living in my guest room until vacant houses became available. I couldn't allow them separate rooms because the only others were my mother's and Prim's. It was still painful having anyone occupy those two rooms. The dust would be disturbed or something. People were busy around twelve. Buildings started to be reformed, families were moving in, and jobs were sought after. People were finding their place in the community. Madge got a job as a seamstress fairly quickly. She was the only one in the district who could create clothing patterns by memory. Leevy on the other hand had a little more trouble with finding a job. Maybe 'a little' was used too lightly. We were going over a list of possible jobs around the fire. Madge was sewing in the armchair, Leevy was sitting on the floor with a pillow, and I was alternating between aggravating the coals and petting Buttercup. Peeta had brought over 's first batch of garlic bread since he arrived back at twelve. The taste was slightly different then I remember. I suspected he changed the recipe but I didn't ask Peeta. There was a chance Mr. Mellark just forgot something amidst his trauma. It was peaceful by the flames. Occasionally the sound of a crackle would resonate, causing Buttercup to jump from underneath my hand and hiss at me, as if I could control the fire.

"What do you expect me to do about it, you stupid cat? I'm not the girl on fire anymore remember?" I joke halfheartedly. He bites my hand and leaves to find company in Leevy.

"Damn cat" I mumble at the red mark on my hand. He was only teasing. If Buttercup wanted to bite me he would have drawn blood.

"So guys…any ideas" she asks. Buttercup purred as she scratched under his chin. I sighed, crossed my legs and rested my chin in my hands.

"You could work with agriculture?" I suggest. Leevy's shakes her head.

"I have no experience with growing vegetables" she groans.

"Peeta could help you. He has a really nice garden" I offer. She just shakes her head again. I shrug.

"Hmm speaking of Peeta, you could become a painter." She doesn't even consider this, automatically turning the idea down.

"I couldn't paint to save my life."

Okay, I have a feeling this isn't going to be easy. The next hour Madge and I test options only for Leevy to find some kind of error. Apprentice to Mr. Mellark, no. She burns the bread. Hunter, no. She hates killing things, plus the wood leg is a setback. Cook, no. She always boils things too long and her meat is always dry. Madge attempts to teach her to sew, but she just fusses over pricked fingers and uneven seams. Then we gave up. We settled down by the fire in solitude, drinking hot chocolate. I wanted to cheer her up. I had to, because although I tried to pretend not to notice, I heard her sniffling. Madge heard it to, but she was better with such things. She set down her fabric and carefully pinned the needle to the dress she was wearing. The next second she was on the ground comforting the other girl.

"Hey now Darling, don't you worry, we'll figure out something" Madge wiped the tears off Leevy's face. This is so different from the Leevy I used to know. And actually this was a little bit different from the Madge I used to know. Leevy was always the strong one. The one who was calm and instinctive and intelligent. She is just a shamble now. Madge used to be quiet, shy, kind, but emotional and weak. The bombings changed them. Leevy closed off and it was Madge's turn to take initiative.

"Katniss had a song she wanted to sing to us. I want to hear it don't you?" Madge says. I do? Since when? Madge shot me a look and I didn't question it. The mood in the room was too serious and if singing can change that then I will sing.

"Black Clouds Are Behind Me  
I Now Can See Ahead  
Often I Wonder Why I Try  
Hoping For An End  
Sorrow Weighs My Shoulders Down  
And Trouble Haunts My Mind  
But I Know The Present Will Not Last  
And Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

Tomorrow Will Be Kinder  
It's True I've Seen It Before  
A Brighter Day Is Comin' My Way  
Yes Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

By the time I was halfway through Leevy was singing along with me.

"Today I've Cried A Many Tear  
And Pain Is In My Heart  
Around me lies a somber Scene  
I Don't Know Where To Start  
But I Feel Warmth On My Skin  
The Stars Have all Aligned  
The Wind Has Blown But Now I Know  
That Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

Tomorrow Will Be Kinder  
I Know I've seen it before  
A Brighter Day Is Coming My Way  
Yes Tomorrow Will Be Kinder

A Brighter Day Is Coming My Way  
Yes Tomorrow Will Be Kinder"

When the song had ended the room remained silent, but it wasn't a somber silence. It was an awestruck silence. Leevy was a pretty good singer.

"Leevy! Why didn't you tell us you could sing?" I demanded. She looks with confusion between Madge and I.

"I didn't know" she says bewildered. I smile and roll my eyes at the girl.

"Leevy I think we have found you a profession" I laugh.

"But how can I earn money off that?" she asks. She's right. I get my tribute salary so my singing is only a hobby really.

"Plurtarch has a singing program" I remember. She looks anxious with everything happening so fast and tries to focus on Buttercup. Leevy, this isn't the time for your scatterbrain episodes! We are trying to plan your future!

"Who is Plurtarch?" Madge asks. Oh right. There is still a lot I have yet to tell them.

"Tell you later." I say for now. "but he has a program on the television dedicated to singers. It wasn't my cup of tea but maybe you would like it" I tell her. She just stares at Buttercup's sleeping figure.

"I don't like cameras" she whispers. All of a sudden I stopped. My smile fell. She doesn't like cameras? What excuse is that? After all this time of trying to help her out, and listening to her blubbering away about "I can't do this, I can't do that", she says 'I don't like cameras'! I couldn't help the anger that bubbled through me. Sure she was traumatized but so was I. Guess what? I got over it! Hell, so did Peeta and he was even more screwed up inside than me! There is no excuse for her ridiculous behavior. She shouldn't ask for help if she is going to play this game. Let her be a child, let her mope about in that wispy lost little way-

"Katniss that's enough!" Madge yells. My god am I always talking out loud? Leevy is bawling and Madge looks like she's about to punch us both in the face. Even Buttercup woke up and gazes at us in a highly attentive way.

"Listen! Both of you! I can't take this anymore." She gathers her fragments of clothing. "I'm going to bed. I'm tired" we hear her say as she retreats upstairs to her room. The door slamming behind her. Only at my house. Only at my house could emotions go from thoughtful, to sorrowful, to cheery, to furious, to sorrowful in less than two hours. Are we all really that messed up? I take a deep breath and slide back down to the floor. Buttercup hisses at me when I reach for him, and this time when he bites me he does draw blood.

"Good to see that you're not even on my side" I say to him. The room isn't as warm anymore and the fire is about to go out. It's just a matter of time. It does. I sit there in the darkness, alone. Leevy's sniffling ends and then comes silence.

"I lied" she finally speaks up. This statement takes me aback. I consider leaving and going to bed myself, but I can't be that cruel to Leevy. She helped me out when Gale was near death. She is my friend in some way, despite these emotional moments. I start thinking about Haymitch and Gale. Those two were there for me when I was in worse shape than her. At least I can try to understand what she is going through.

"About what?" I reply.

"I said I didn't know I could sing. I lied. I haven't sung since before the bombings. I've tried to but no sound comes out. It's part of the trauma." She sighs. Her voice is clear and honest and I can tell the episode she had earlier is over.

"I'm sorry" I say. I feel weird saying it. Like the words just don't fit with my lips. But she needed to hear it.

"I also lied about not liking cameras. I don't mind them."

"Why did you say it then?"

"Because I didn't want to sound clingy when I told you the truth"

"What's the truth?..."

"I don't want to leave you and Madge. I want to stay here in twelve with my friends, not in some television studio in the Capitol." She reveals. I feel terrible.

"Leevy I'm sorry about what I said. I really am…sometimes I talk out loud when I think I am thinking to myself. And I don't think you are clingy for wanting to stay with us. I don't see why you want to be near me though. I am a hardheaded pest" I smile. I feel her beside me in the darkness.

"Yes I now you are, but that makes me stronger. Madge is nice but she babies me like a little sister. You are more like a mentor. You tell me what you think I should do but you let me make my own decisions." I feel her hand on mine and it makes me smile even bigger.

"Good. Now let's get to bed so we can figure out how to turn singing into a career, right here in twelve."

I help her up and we stumble through the room until we eventually find the stairs.

"How come you were able to sing right then Leevy?" I ask, remembering her confession about being incapable of singing.

"I don't know. Maybe I just needed someone to sing with" she guessed. That thought made me smile. The next morning I called Plurtarch and asked him to send us some of his extra instruments. Leevy and I learned how to play each one of them. The practicing was hard but compared to the hunger games training, it was nothing. Some days we played instruments, others we trained our voices to harmonize. Madge started getting annoyed by the constant squeals of off notes so she moved in with Haymitch. At first I thought the arrangement was odd but Madge explained it to me. She was Maysilee Donner's niece after all. The only living relative of Haymitch's long lost friend. She was all he had of her, she reminded him of her. In fact, a few weeks after she moved in I noticed improvements in his drinking habits and in his attitude. He started spending more time outside raising geese and growing a vegetable garden even bigger than Peeta's. Time passed and soon Leevy and I could play various musical instruments quite well. It was time to move on to the next step. Peeta sold a bunch of his paintings to a wealthy collector and with the money we built our music school.

"It still needs something" Madge concludes, inspecting the new establishment. The finishing touches had just been made to the construction and now it was ready for admiring. Haymitch, Madge, Peeta, Greasy Sae, Leevy, and I began to tour the new structure. It was the biggest building in town, and it was beautiful. Two of its walls were covered in long panels of windows to let the sunlight in. I was later informed these could be removed if ever there was a need. The inside was curved into a dome which apparently could create more sound clarity. The walls were ivory and seemed to reach impossibly far up, as if it were bigger in the inside than on the out. Although it was beautiful Madge was right. It was missing something.

"A painting" Peeta mutters in thought. "I need to make a mural for it." He decides.

"Hmmm, I like that idea" Leevy smiles. Yes a mural! That's it! Something that would give our ash and soot covered town a piece of life. I knew exactly what we needed.

"Peeta get out you paint. I think what we need is the meadow." I proclaim. Peeta's face lights up in that inspired way.

"The meadow." He repeats to himself. "That's a really good idea Katniss. What time is it?" he asks.

"About eight thirty" Haymitch replies after a glance at his expensive Capitol made watch. Peeta thinks for a moment. Before anyone can question it he has disappeared. When he returns several minutes later he has a gallon of paint in each hand.

"Well? Is anyone going to help me or do I have to carry all of the paint myself?" he demands with a grin. Where did he get this paint from? I was only joking when I told him to get paint out. I thought all he had was oil paint for his canvases. The group started following Peeta's lead so I was forced to ignore my questions for now. We walk down the street behind the shops of the downtown until we come to an open shed filled with buckets. The shed was new, I could tell. A man appeared from the back door of shop with a handful of brushes and rollers for applying paint. He was old and slightly decrepit but he smiled at us warmly from behind is thistle of whiskers. His hand shook as I took the items from him, his arm still extended. Then I realized that he wanted a handshake. I passed the brushes to Leevy and took the man's hand.

"I'm uh Katniss" It's been so long since I've shaken someone's hand, I've forgotten the proper procedure. Where is Effie when you need her? The old man either doesn't notice my awkwardness or pretends not to.

"I know who you are Miss Everdeen" his scratchy voice makes out. Of course he does, I'm the mockingjay, or was. But what he tells me next is unexpected.

"Your daddy used to buy supplies from me when you were little. Do you remember? He used to bring you in and I'd give you candy" he recalls I am flattered this man remembers me. He looks like he barely remembers his own name, yet he remembers the little girl who used to go to his shop. I feel like a horrible person for not remembering myself but I don't admit to it.

"Oh yes! I do remember that, you were always so kind" I lie. This made him smile so big that his wrinkles stretched into canyons.

"And now you are buying supplies from me. You're all grown up." He wavers and I notice tears in his eyes. I feel uncomfortable at how emotional the stranger is but I don't leave. It doesn't seem fair to leave someone so fond of me.

"You own all of the paint?" I ask, gesturing the buckets being carried away by my friends. Haymitch shoots me a look as he picks up another load. I can already hear the words _"Stalling there sweetheart so you don't have to pitch in some work? Tsk Tsk. You're awfully lazy for a tribute of two games."_

I glare at my mentor and he simply walks away in disappointment.

"Yes, I've owned my hardware store for over forty years. I reopened two days ago and already you are buying all the paint I have in stock. I don't think I have ever had that much business" he tells me thankfully.

"Well you are a lifesaver. We are painting the new music school and if it wasn't for your paint we would have to wait for the supply train to come through next week."

"Well I'm glad I can help. The older you get the less of a help you become it seems" He sighs sadly. I decide I like this man. He seems lonely. Did he lose someone during the bombings or was he always alone? I feel sympathy for him. Maybe that's why I invite him to help us paint.

"Oh I don't know how much I can do with these shaky hands of mine" he worries. I shake my head at his statement.

"I bet you'll be better at it than me. I am a terrible artist" I laugh. He considers this and finally consents to help us. It takes us a little more than a half hour to empty the shed of its contents and return to the project sight. Then another half hour goes by as Peeta observes the 'canvas' and internally discusses what should go where and what color it should be. Meanwhile, Greasy Sae returns with broth and sandwiches, most likely made with 's fresh bread. Leevy and Madge sit on the grass and discuss remedies that might make Leevy's scar disappear. Greasy Sae argues with Haymitch over the evils of drinking, even though Haymitch hasn't touched alcohol in weeks. I silently dip my sandwich in the broth and take note of how happy the old shopper keeper is to be around people again. I realize that I have yet to know his name.

"Sir…I'm sorry but I never got your name" I say. He sets his sandwich on his lap and finishes chewing.

"Geert" his introduces. I nod and continue eating. Finally Peeta appears from behind the building and begins bringing certain cans closer. He opens six cans. Two blue, two green, a black, and a white. He starts with the green, dipping a roller in the pigment and splaying in across the wood surface. Haymitch joins him, if only to avoid any more of Greasy Sae's preaching. Soon follows Leevy and Madge, until Geert and I trail after. Peeta opens a bucket of yellow and goes over the layer of green with it eto add dimension and hues. Hours later, grass stretched around the whole base of the building, speckled with dandelions and daisies. Ladders were found, blue paint, brown paint, were began to appear. It took us well into the night. At which time families came by to provide us light but the candles had little effect. A bonfire was made and soon enough it was like twelve was having a celebration. The town square filled up with spectators, many bearing food and others bearing paintbrushes, wondering how they can contribute. Peeta instructed us what to do and techniques to use. Leevy began a band, handing out the instruments we had to the few townsfolk who knew how to play. Mr. Mellark attended, giving away free bread and cake. Twelve hadn't known a celebration like this since after we won our first games. As I looked around I couldn't help be proud of the district I live in. The smiling faces, the friendly neighbors, the happy dancers, the joyful painters. We finish so late that it's the early hours of the next day. The painters were covered in splotches of color. The dancers had collapsed in giggles. The musicians stopped to pass around a flask, they never resumed their song. Instead they passed out. I found Peeta among the cheery chaos. The light of the flame illuminated the mess of smears across his face. I shook my head at this silly appearance. I used a napkin that somehow ended up in my hand to wipe away to smudges on his cheeks.

"Thanks Peeta" I say. His hand rests on my arm.

"Anything for you Katniss" he smiles. I smile to.


	3. Princess and the brat

A god-awful tone pierces the room. Hands cover ears. Glares are pointed. Obscenities whispered grudgingly. The boy with the clarinet winces at the scrutiny given by his peers.

"Was that any better ?" he hoped. I didn't have the heart to tell him no. I nod encouragingly.

"With a little more practice you'll be fitting right in with the class." I lie. Trent Odair looked proud that he had accomplished something. I was just walking away when I heard the girl beside him speak up.

"Hey. My name is Ginger Kevinski." The girl turned her body to face his. Her long golden, red hair, flicking behind her.

"Nice to meet you I'm Trent" he greets. They shake hands and she goes on to give him pointers. I have never heard Ginger speak except when I ask her a question. This sudden out of character action startles me. Then again, Trent Odair is the boy she is talking to, and he is just as handsome, if not more handsome than his father. Trent is a little less cocky though thankfully. Ginger seems like a good match for him, well mannered, quiet, extremely intelligent. She picked up the clarinet and played a short piece for the class once when she first enrolled. I asked her how long she had been playing and she said it was her very first time. Ginger is a person who is able to figure out things right away. I bet she could beat Haymitch at chess even. Trent seemed to take quite an interest in her. She wasn't very thin but her smile was incredible and so were her doe like eyes. I wonder which captivated Trent. I moved on to my other students. Priscilla Grenet was practicing the violin.

"Very nice Priscilla" I praised as I passed her. She grinned up at me and her twin sister Evelyn only scowled.

"You to Evelyn" I added to save Prisilla from enduring her stormy disposition. The sisters came from a rich family in two. After the war, they lost everything they had. The only reason they could attend the school was because of the scholarship program we started. Still the sisters were snooty and dignified.

Bennett Tilbant was the next boy I crossed. He wore glasses and his hair always strayed outward to create a messy hedge upon his head. However, Bennett was by far the best musician in the class, specializing in the piano. No doubt he would become famous someday. I check my watch to see if my vocal instructor shift had started. I was five minutes late. Quickly I made my way through the wind section, then the percussion section until I reached the door that led to the next room. Leevy shook her head in mock disappointment.

"Shame on you Katniss. Five minutes late" she tsked. I apologized and left back through the door I arrived out of. There were four students in the vocal arts. Krescentia Frener the very stubborn girl who refuses to believe anyone but herself knows how to sing. Thiele Larkson the deep voiced, dramatic boy, who could easily become a star actor, yet settled for singing. Lily Cadbaurn the young five year old who could make a grown my cry tears of joy with a single note. The very best singer, Bunny Crowel, a romantic young woman who will be the best mother I've ever seen. Four months ago the twenty year old got pregnant out of wedlock but I've never seen her shine more

"Good morning." I greeted and a collective good morning was returned. They had already warmed up and finished their exercises with Leevy. I just had to present the song we were to practice.

"I wrote this song about those who we loved and lost during the rebellion. None of you were probably there for that except for maybe Bunny" I say. She nods from her seat. Her eyes on the ground beyond her feet. Even though she was only about six when it happened, it looked like it was going to be emotional for her.

"Even if you weren't there for that, you have heard the stories, and you have been effected by the event. This is just another tribute to those lost souls who sacrificed for us." I explain. Each nods solemnly. I begin singing the song.

"_Waiting, wanting_

_Just for a little while _

_A moment with your smile_

_Somewhere with you_

_Wishing, hoping_

_For another last goodbye_

_No more tears to cry_

_Somewhere with you_

_Somewhere with you in the place we love_

_No more cares in the world above_

_Soaring through clouds_

_No water for us to drown_

_Somewhere_

_Somewhere _

_In heaven _

_Growing, Living _

_Going on into this life_

_With peace instead of fight_

_Somewhere with you_

_Someday we'll be together once again_

_But tomorrow comes and the times not yet_

_But tomorrow comes and the times not yet" _

When I finish, I hand out the sheet music and we take turns practicing until each one has mastered it. Thiele and Krescent had troubles because of the high notes but with a bit of adjusting they also acquired it.

"Okay now we shall try with instrumentals. Leevy has introduced the song to the musicians next door. Let's head over to the stage." We entered through the other door. We were about to make the trek through the narrow hallway, that leads to the stage, when a hand grabs my shoulder. It's Johanna looking rather anxious.

"What? Johanna you better not be messing with me. I have to teach…" I stopped when I saw the look of distress on her face, something that is never worn on Johanna's face. It was even rarer than her smile.

"She's in labor" she growls. I give her a seriously disbelieving look. Johanna pulled this on Peeta and I a few days ago. After we got in an argument he spent the night in his old house to blow off steam. She thought that the whole "Madge is in labor" would be a good way for us to face each other at a vacant hospital. Standing out in the cold. Waiting for a nurse to come out and tell us her room number. Only to find out Johanna had pulled our leg and Madge was at her home asleep. Luckily the plan worked and Peeta and I made up. We were both still angry at Johanna though.

"I'm not (Johanna expletive) making this up! Madge's (Johanna expletive) in labor and having a (Johanna expletive) baby!" Oh Johanna. So many dirty words. She's a mother now so she better learn to stop that foul mouth of hers. Then reality hit. Madge is in labor!

"Oh well lets hurry!" I exclaim.

"Oh well lets hurry!" she mocks in an obnoxious voice. "Well no (Johanna expletive)! I thought we were gonna sit and have tea first, maybe talk about the weather!" she said sarcastically. Johanna was nervous. And a nervous Johanna is almost as bad as a furious Johanna. I tell Bunny the new plan and she guides the rest of the group down to the stage. I turn back to Johanna. Her eyes are filled with fear and I can actually see her shake. I know what it's like. The fear that something terrible will happen. A bomb will be dropped on the hospital. Or Snow will shove the baby into the merciless hands of a peacekeeper and command him to "squeeze". But the bombs are gone, the war is over, there are no games, peacekeepers, or Snow. I did something daring. Something I wouldn't do if Johanna wasn't so distraught. I hugged her tightly.

"Johanna it's okay. There is nothing to fear anymore. And if there was, nothing would ever hurt your baby. I wouldn't let it. Peeta wouldn't let it. Haymitch wouldn't let it. Leevy wouldn't let it. We are a family and families protect each other." I honestly express. Johanna doesn't hug me back but doesn't move away. I didn't expect anything more or anything less from her.

"Let's go" I say and together we run. We run out of the music school. Down the street. Around the corner. Down another street. The hospital is in view.

"Wait, slow down guys!" I voice calls from behind us. I make out Leevy bounding toward us out of shape. She is huffing out uneven breaths. Wow, she should go running with me in the morning. The situation came back to me when I heard Johanna groan.

"Go Johanna. I will wait for Leevy and catch up with you." She gives me a thankful look then dashes through the double doors. Leevy makes an effort to hurry but ends up walking. I try to be patient but it's hard. Finally Leevy is choking on her breath before me and I practically shove her through the hospital door.

"Sorry" she makes out before going into a coughing fit. "I had to find Teniel and Greyson to sub for us. Plus yeah I'm out of shape" she admits. I roll my eyes and tell her it is fine. We find a nurse walking by and I stop her.

"Excuse me" I interrupt. When the blond woman turns around I am ecstatic to find it's my mother. She was supposed to arrive here today at four and its only two thirty.

"Mom!" I hug her. "I thought you wouldn't be here till four"

"I had a hunch I should get here earlier. It was a pretty good hunch."

I separate from her and ask what room Madge has.

"Room four" The three of us race down the hall to four. It was easy to find considering we only have twelve rooms in our new hospital, yet they were as up to date and modern as the ones in the Capitol. Outside the room marked as four, chairs had been set against the wall. One held Haymitch. Another held Peeta. took the third seat, probably only here to see my mother. The last chair was occupied by Effie, who came here a week ago 'for business purposes'. Really I think she just missed us and wanted to visit. But that was nothing Effie would ever admit to.

"Can we go in?" I asked them. Effie nodded.

"Johanna told us, for you to enter. They want you there for the birth." I should hope so. Madge and Johanna are two of my best friends. I would be rather disappointed if I was unable to be there for the birth of their child. Leevy would to. She is just as close to Madge as me and even though she doesn't see eye to eye with Johanna, she expects to be there. We take deep breaths and turn the knob. I have never witnessed the birth of a baby. Sure I have had my own two children, but I was in too much pain to notice what was going on. This would be different. Leevy seems cool as we enter. She had been there for the birth of my children and for her little brother's many years ago. This is nothing new to her. I saw a glimpse of her old self. The girl who asked me what she could do when she saw Gale's maimed body being carried away. The girl who sat in my kitchen and watched bravely as my mother cured her deathly sick little brother. This is the same girl who enters hospital room four. Who looks at the contorted face of her best friend suffering through contractions. Who smiles warmly, brushes the slick blond hair off of her sweaty forehead. I see the sweep of pain that radiates off Madge for a moment and then it ebbs. She is left looking relieved and tired. Then my eyes travel around the room. To her thin blue hospital gown, the one I have had to wear more times than I can count. To the sun setting outside of the window. To Johanna who I hadn't noticed previously. She looks angry. If anything makes Johanna angry, it's seeing her wife in pain (and Leevy's heart beating). But right now it's as if the only thing in the room to Johanna is Madge. She rests her hand gently on Madge's bulging stomach, feeling it tense and rise and fall. Feeling something stirring inside, something that would soon be out in the world.

"Why are babies so lazy? I mean, why can't they just crawl out? Why do they make the mother do all of the work?" she demands grumblingly. This makes Madge smile weakly. I think that was the real point of the statement, otherwise it would be chalked full of swears. I noticed long ago that Johanna never swore near Madge, purely out of respect.

…

It was the September and summer was being ripped from our grasp no matter how hard we held on. Our music school had been open for three months. People from all across Panem were intrigued by the idea as soon as news of it spread. We had applied for a grant so we could buy the instruments and it passed. They came on the train. Shipped in boxes of every size. Opening them was like the birthday I never had. A flood of students enrolled, so many that we had to make plans to expand the building. A stage section would be added as well as a storage room and vocal training room. It kept us busy during the summer but fall was starting and the new public schools would be opening. We transgressed to the old ways of early America where school was required, and began in September, ending in mid-June. I thought it was a good idea. I like smart people. As long as they aren't too smart. It also meant a well needed rest from music. I spend my days at Peeta's now. I watch him paint. I give him suggestions and critique until he tells me 'I'm distracting'. Then I hang out with Leevy, Madge, and sometimes even Haymitch. We learned of some new games to play outside. Early American games called golf, and croquet. We were playing golf one day, it was my turn. It was late afternoon and rather chilly. I had let Madge and Leevy borrow some of Cinna's warm fall outfits, created for the victory tour.

"Good luck Miss Everdeen" Leevy said in a fake Capitol accent.

"May the odds be ever in your favor" Madge finished darkly. It was a sadistic exchange after all we had gone through. Maybe that's why we laughed so hard. We needed to laugh about it. It made us sane.

"And with that I shall make my move" I state in my own accent. I put the small round ball with the club. It curves and misses the hole, going four feet too far. I mutter to myself. Tsks come from the group in disappointment.

"Never in your favor are they sweetheart" Haymitch chuckles. Double entendre. A cruel double entendre. I hand him the club with a glare. He wears a smile. Carefully he positions himself, double checking, triple checking the distance and angle. Put. Plunk. Stupid Haymitch. Cheers come from the others.

"I believe we have a victor" Leevy announces following the persona still. Madge takes the ball out of the cup and places it back on the ground.

"Ha! Can never win anything can you sweetheart? Not even either of the games. Not truly" This was said with malice not tease. Haymitch was bitter, fire was in his eyes. This started happening to him after he gave up alcohol. They are a lot like Peeta's episodes. They come without warning, they cause damage temporarily, and then it ends. I stay strong and calm.

"Haymitch you won. It's over. Congratulations" I say carefully. He ignored that I even spoke.

"You never won the Hunger Games. You never won the rebellion. You were a piece, a player and you played along like they all wanted you to. You never fought. You pretended to fight so that others would. So you wouldn't get killed but they could because you could care less. You were the Mockingjay and that made your life more important than anyone's. You had the right to be a damn cowered. And the worst part? When you came back after all that, they were dead. Your family, your friends, and even your girl was as good as dead, because she hates you. They were dead because you did what Snow never wanted you to do. You did what was unexpected." I didn't know who he was talking about, me or him. He had gotten angrier by the second. Stepping so close to me that his chest was against mine, the veins bulging in his neck. I had never seen Haymitch like this. It scared me. His hands reached up as if about to choke me. Then they clasped tightly around the club. With a scream he hit the ball as hard as he could. We watched in slow motion as the ball flew through the air until it could be a bird. Then it stopped soaring and time sped up. It came crashing down over the edge of the hill, out of sight. A yell was heard. Oh no. The four of us raced over the edge of the hill and saw a young woman lying on the ground with her blond hair flailing around. Is that blood? Blood dyed her blond locks red.

"Shit" Haymitch whispered. His episode was over and he noticed what he had done. "Oh shit" he said again. Madge was the first to reach the girl, brushing her blond hair back to see the damage.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry" Madge told her. She gave a look to me. "Katniss, can we take her to your house?" Madge pleads. I nod, unable to speak. Haymitch and Madge help the girl up and rest her weight on themselves. Her head droops and her long hair dangles in front of her face, making it impossible for me to judge the injury. They practically carry her to my house. When we get there, they lay her on the couch, as I go to the kitchen to find the emergency kit and an icepack. I return to the living room and hand the items to Madge. She grabs the antiseptic and a gauze pad and prepares to clean the wound.

"This might sting" she tells the stranger.

"I'm no stranger to pain" Johanna? I move closer and cross the other side of the couch. Indeed the stranger is not a stranger at all, it's Johanna. Her hair has grown back in to form the long strands she once had. No way hair could grow that fast. She has been altered by the Capitol. I wondered where she's been all of this time. She looks really good, healthy, even better than before the Quarter Quell. Except for the gash on her forehead. It would bring a nasty bump but it didn't seem too threatening. Madge placed the cloth over it and sopped up the blood.

"Does it hurt?" Madge asks gingerly.

"Yes but keep doing it anyway" Johanna replied. Madge nodded and did as she said. When she was finished she unwrapped some gauze from a clump, and then began rewrapping it around Johanna's head. Johanna winced a bit but it didn't seem to affect her. Her eyes trained on Madge. Even after Madge was done, her eyes never left her.

"Better?" Madge asked concernedly. Johanna lost her words.

"Hm?" she hummed dazedly.

"Did I damage her hearing or something to?" Haymitch questioned as he paced.

"Better?" Madge asked again. Johanna nodded lightly. Suddenly reality came back to her and she regained the function of her voice.

"Oh uh yeah. It's perfect. Thank you. So much. Are you a nurse?" Madge blushed and shook her head.

"I'm not that good at first aid. But I have had to heal a few injuries in the past." She admits. She holds up an ice pack.

"Do you want ice?" Madge offered with a smile.

"Sure" Johanna reached for the pack but Madge nudged her hand back to its place on the couch cushion, leaving her own hand on that spot over Johanna's.

"No you look too weak. I don't want you to move much in case you have a concussion" she explains, placing the ice on Johanna herself. Both Leevy and I give each other looks. There was no way Johanna could have a concussion. She doesn't even have that bad of a bump. Surely Madge knows this. Haymitch notices too from the look on his face. He was about to voice his thought when I interrupt.

"Johanna? It's Katniss" I say. I step further into view. "What were you doing here in Twelve?"

She turns her head slightly to see me. She rolls her eyes.

"I should have known these were your friends who almost killed me. Sorry Haymitch. I didn't recognize you for a minute. Getting kind of old aren't you? Is that grey hair I see?" Johanna snarls. Haymitch glares at the comment but doesn't say a word.

"Johanna" I scold.

"I just like to wander you know? I wanted to see if this shitty little district was making all the others look shabby. I was right. Why do you live in this dump? It's filthy and drab." She complained, inspecting the blood that tinged her hair. Madge took some of the clumps and began cleaning them with a damp rag. Her nose crinkled at Johanna's words about our district.

"I mean what was the mayor thinking? Did he ever notice how disgusting it looked? Why didn't he update it? Maybe put in a spa or something else of at least _slight _class. Instead you have what? Ash, soot, and that grimy dirt?" She drawled on with superiority. Madge dropped her grasp on Johanna's hair. She snatched her hand away from Johanna's and leapt back from her like she was on fire.

"You…you brat. My _father_ was the mayor! He was a very good man. He suffered everyday seeing our district's people crumble and starve on the streets. He couldn't do a thing! He couldn't help anyone. The Capitol had its hold on him harder than anyone else I knew. They twisted him and bended him and tortured him until he almost broke. Then when he finally had the chance to fight back, he was killed. Blown up. Burned. Falling to a million flakes of ash. That grimy dirt that you were referring to is my father's body. And my mother's. And my servant Castor, who I loved like an older brother. And the rest of our districts citizens who perished." She yelled out. Wow Madge! Her fists clenched so tightly I was sure she was going to hit someone. Johanna looked at her wide eyed and with what I think is regret. Madge threw the ice pack on the floor and it exploded, ice cubes shattering and flying. She left the house with a slam of the door. God Madge, if she keeps slamming the doors in my house they are going to fall of their hinges. Then the gravity of her words hit me. Someone talked back to Johanna. No, someone _yelled _back at Johanna. That has never in the course of history, happened. Johanna simply looked shocked. She tried to say something but she couldn't.

"Damn" she finally muttered. "She's feisty"

"You hurt her really badly!" I snap. "What do you expect?"

"Not that. Definitely not that. I've never had anyone talk back to me before"

"You should go apologize. You offended her." I sigh. Johanna just doesn't get it. She nods slowly as if the information is sinking in.

"Okay I will. But I'm using your shower first." She announces. Haymitch checks around the corner to make sure she was gone.

"What was that all about?" he wonders, jabbing his thumb in the direction Johanna left in.

"She's just being Johanna. I'm not surprised. But Madge has been through too much to take her abuse." I shrug. He shakes his head.

"That's not what I mean. Did you see the way they looked at each other?" he whistled. "Looked like love"

I blinked. I stared. I burst into peals of laughter until I was choking, until I was snorting. Johanna in love? Johanna in love with _Madge?_ Someone please get Haymitch a drink, he needs it dearly. He's delirious.

"Haymitch I think you need a drink" I chuckle.

"No sweetheart. I'm serious. I've know what love is. I've had to see you and Peeta dance around it for years. I'm familiar with the crazy things it makes you say and do. Johanna is just as defiant as you were" he surmises. He wanders around, looking for something.

"What are you looking for?" I query. "I don't have any alcohol."

"I'm not looking for alcohol. I'm looking for a mirror."

"Why?"

"I want to check to see if I have grey hairs" he says, tenderly pulling at his wispy strands. I can't help but smile. Maybe Haymitch was right. No, not about the grey hairs but about Johanna and Madge. _My father used to work in the mines with two men who were in love. Ezra and Gregory. I was six at the time and I didn't see any differences with the couple. All I remember is that they were always so kind to me and loved me as if I were their daughter. The peacekeepers didn't like it, back before Cray was here. The rules were stricter. Then one day, on a Wednesday, they didn't come back from the mines. Gregory didn't swing me around and Ezra didn't tell me his funny stories. My father looked very pale. He didn't laugh, or smile, or sing. I wanted to go into town like we used to do every Wednesday to buy the food for the following week. _

"_Not today Katniss. You promise me to be a good girl and stay far away from the town square today." He said, cradling me in his lap and hugging me close to him._

"_I promise" And for a reason I didn't understand then, he cried._

_The next day, on my way back from school, I saw some peacekeepers burying two new graves. I never saw Gregory and Ezra again._

"_Why are Gregory and Ezra not coming from the mines anymore?" I asked him innocently. My father would attempt to smile back at me but it was hard._

"_They moved away Katniss. Because people didn't like them being together. So they went to a place where they could be together in peace." He explained, teary eyed._

"_Well I hope they are happy, where ever they are." He nodded._

"_Me to" _

"Katniss!" Haymitch was shaking me.

"What? What?" I looked bewildered. He looked concerned.

"Nothing, you just started shaking and blanking out" the worry in his voice seeped through. I was having one of my painful flashbacks.

"I'm glad there are no more peacekeepers" I mumbled. He nodded.

"Me to" Sometimes Haymitch would do or say something and all I could see is my father. It happens rarely but it does happen. Johanna come down stairs looking fresh and clean, except for the bandage around her forehead. It could just be me but I think Johanna is a little dressed up.

"I took one of your outfits" she tells me. I was right. I roll my eyes.

"Thanks for asking first." I speak sarcastically.

"No prob" she snipes then continues to the door. "Wish me luck."

"You'll need it" Haymitch quips. Johanna hears this and shoots him a deathly look. The door closed.

"I'm not missing this" Haymitch decides. He began to climb the stair way.

"What are you doing?"

"Eavesdropping Katniss, nothing new to you" he lets out a dry laugh. I follow unsurely. We reach the second level and he moves to the door of the room on the right. He reaches for the handle and I slapped it off.

"No" I whisper. It was Prim's room. He gives me a look.

"Locking up a room won't fix anything" he philosophies. No but it can help you forget. I take a breath. Oh Prim. Oh Prim I'm so sorry. I'm ready, ready to let you go. I don't know what possessed me, but I opened the door. The sunlight flooded through the curtains and lit the area with a soft glow. Everything was peaceful and still here. Like time had stopped in this room, waiting for her to return when she never would. Her furniture, her photos of Lady, a necklace I had made for her when she was younger, were covered in a layer of ghostly dust. The breath caught in my throat. Haymitch put his hand on my shoulder for a fraction of a second and then crossed the room to the window. He gave a heave and it lifted to let in the crisp air. The spirits in the room escaped through it. It was just a room now. An empty place. I went to Haymitch. Down below was the entrance of his front door. Johanna adjusted her hair and smoothed out her clothes. Finally she knocked on the tall oak door. She waited a moment then knocked again. It opened after a minute or two and revealed a very dignified looking Madge.

"What do you want?" she demanded. Johanna looked nervous. I had never seen Johanna nervous before. It was a look of agitation with hints of anxiousness fought to be concealed.

"Is that how you always greet people Princess? Not very flattering is it" Johanna snaps. No Johanna! You are screwing it up all ready! Keep your cool for once.

"Only to people who deserve it" Madge retorts. Johanna narrows her eyes at the other girl, sizing her up. Madge didn't look deterred at being looked over. Her head was high and her back straight with poise.

"Well is that so? You're not very well mannered for a mayor's daughter."

"Not to tramps" this statement made Johanna rage. A sickly sweet smile forming on her lips.

"A tramp?"

"Yes" Madge says definitely.

"Why?"

"Because you are impolite. You swear"

"Well it's better than being a prude"

"A prude?"

"Yes" Johanna repeats, mimicking Madge.

"Why?" Madge mocks Johanna.

"Because you are stuffy"

"How am I stuffy?"

"You are too predictable, too innocent."

"Oh really?"

"Yes really!"

"No I'm not…" but Madge was starting to falter.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not!"

"Priss"

"Degenerate"

"Anal-retentive!"

"Repulsive!"

"_Princess!"_

"_Brat!"_

Madge and Johanna leap at each other in one move, tearing at one another skin, hair, clothes. Kicking, biting, clawing. Then kissing. It was short and passionate and slow.

"What was that?" Madge asked dazedly. Johanna smirked.

"You being spontaneous"

They only got closer from then onward. Made became less stuffy, Johanna became less loose (at least around her). They became a very unlikely, very comical couple. Yes, they argue and fight but it's always resolved. People do that when they are in love. Years later Johanna wants to get married. Madge is quizzical to the idea but after some time she agrees. After another stretch of time, after seeing my children eventually born, she also wants kids. Madge didn't know how that would be possible but Johanna assures her that it is if they go to the Capitol. They leave. Months past. When they return to twelve Madge has a little bump on her stomach.

"We're having a baby" Johanna says, tears in her eyes. She rests her hand gently on Madge's bulging stomach, feeling it tense and rise and fall. Feeling something stirring inside, something that would soon be out in the world. Madge's face contorts a second time and the contractions come again. They go on for hours. Sometimes Leevy goes to take a break for food or the use of a bathroom and I stay. Other times I go and sit with Peeta and Leevy stays. The men are nervous, not as much as Johanna but still. Effie seems excited, blabbering on about planning a baby shower.

"Mr. Mellark could make raspberry tarts! Couldn't you Mr. Mellark?" she suggested hopefully. He had been giving her recipes for the last hour but his eyes kept wandering to my mother. My mom tried not to take note of it but it was quite obvious. It even made Haymitch awkward. But mostly Peeta and I. Leevy emerged from the door.

"The contractions are really close now" She divulges. My mother and I jump up and follow Leevy through room 4. Madge screams and Johanna attempts to comfort her.

"Hang on it'll be over soon Princess" Johanna soothes. Madge grips her hand and gasps for breath. Her eyes roll back in her head, overcome by the sharp pain. My mother checks her various medical measurements. The pain passes and she tries to regulate her rapid heartbeat.

"I hope it's beautiful. It owes you something" Johanna jokes. Madge laughs groggily. The pain resurges. This goes on, back and forth for several minutes until a scream resonates through the cramped hospital room.

"I see the baby" my mother tells us. "Madge you need to start pushing." Madge looks frightened through the pain. Johanna strokes her cheek and tells her everything will be alright.

"Do as says, it's time" Johanna coaxes her with a kiss. Madge manages a nod and groans. Screams. There are screams all over, filling the hot air. I feel sick to my stomach. Blood. Fluid. Screams. Coaxes. More blood. A little more fluid. A really loud, blood curdling scream. More coaxing. A head. An arm. Another scream. Another arm. A kiss. A screech. A moan. A baby. Madge collapsed on the pillow and my mother holds a screaming flailing bundle. It's bloody. It's obnoxious. It's beautiful.

"Oh my!" Johanna exclaims. We watch as the umbilical cord is cut. We watch as the child is cleaned. It's a boy. He is wrapped in a blanket and handed carefully to Johanna.

"Oh…he's beautiful. His ours" Johanna tears up. The body is small with tiny hands and tiny feet. Its voice is gurgly as a newborn's often is. The sight made me smile. Johanna looked down into the tiny face of her child.

"Madge, Madge look. Isn't he beautiful?" Johanna swoons. She bends towards Madge's limp, recovering, figure. Her eyes travel to Johanna then to the child, then to Johanna again. She doesn't have the strength to speak but she does manage a smile and a single tear.

"Our baby" Johanna whispers. Leevy nudges me and I turn to see her teary eyes. We move to leave but a hand stops us.

"No stay" Johanna pleads. "Hold him first" she offers and before I can think I am holding him. The heartbeat against my hand. The little eyes trying to focus on me. Oh my…

"Hey little fella. I'm your aunty Katniss." I whisper. "I love you very much. We are going to have fun together. I can teach you to sing and to hunt… and I'll always protect you." I smile. I caress his hand with my finger and he holds on to it, staring straight at me with his black orbs. Leevy is staring at him over my shoulder.

"Would you like to hold him?" I ask. A grin stretches across her face. She looks to Johanna for approval. The two never did get along. Johanna grins back and nods.

"Go ahead aunty Leevy" she teases. I hand the boy to Leevy.

"Careful now, don't drop him" I warn.

"Never" she breaths. When Leevy and the baby collide a connection is created. It is obvious from that moment that they would be inseparable.

"Aunty Leevy, would you be the godmother?" A voice interrupts. It's Madge. Leevy glows.

"Oh I…yes, yes of course." She tries not to cry. She walks over to the bed.

"Are you collected enough to hold him?" She asks. Madge nods and outstretches her arms. The room is silent as Madge holds her child for the first time.

"My baby. My sweet little baby boy." She kissed its forehead. Finally we leave the room to let Johanna and Madge alone. Just before we closed the door I hear Madge speak.

"I'm glad Haymitch hit you with a golf ball."

"Me to" Johanna chuckles.


End file.
